Is it just me or does dating in the 21st century suck? After a couple failed relationships I’m currently single and ready to mingle. But with that, I wanted to get some help and I know many of you probably do as well. That is why I reached out to my friend Carla Romo, a dating and relationship coach to ask her some questions. I also asked you guys on Instagram (follow me @esthercollins if you aren’t already) for your juicy dating questions for Carla to answer. So let’s get into it!
1. What happens if you drink collagen for 21 days straight?
2. Ways to sleep better on a plane.
5. Why we shouldn’t bring our phones into the bathroom, I am guilty of this.
6. How to actually get 8 hours of sleep a night.
7. Coconut cream chia pudding, yes please.
8. What to know about preventative botox.
9. Meghan Markle’s wellness routine, sign me up.
10. All the NYFW popups open to the public.
1. These foods help fight belly fat.
2. I need to go to these restaurants at the Almalfi coast!
3. Fun things to do this summer by yourself.
4. The best ways to manage stress.
5. Julia has THE CUTEST back patio for entertaining!
6. I love seeing house tours, including this one!
7. What’s the best way to remove body hair?
8. 5 basics that every girl should invest in.
9. Art hanging mistakes and how to avoid them.
10. Wedding guest outfits that make the bride cringe.
2. Do crystals work for everyone?
3. There is a $2 section on Amazon, say what?
4. How to get stains out of everything.
5. A genetic test could help determine which antidepressant to take.
6. How to prevent wrinkles when traveling.
7. What Carrie Bradshaw’s apartment would look like today.
10. Smoothie ingredients that help you lose weight.
I’m sitting down on my couch right now with a green juice (so LA I know) trying to figure out where to even start with this post. I’ve been wanting to write this post for months, but I wasn’t sure if I should write about something I hadn’t conquered yet. But as I thought more and more about it, I really want to write this post for you. For that person that’s going through the same things I am. For that person that is unsure what the heck is going on with their minds and body. I want to write this for you.
So let’s start at the beginning. Growing up I was always a social person. I was the girl that was always making plans with people, going to parties (if you knew me in college then it was throwing the parties). I’ve always been a planner, but I wouldn’t consider myself type A. I’m messy and disorganized but I always wanted to know what was going to happen. I would have never considered myself an anxious person. That was until last year.
Last August I had four friends from both college and home visit me for a weekend. Everything was going great, we were having fun running around LA, going to the beach, eating out etc. Everything was great until after dinner I got home and I tried to take a power nap before going out that night. As I laid down, I started to feel like I couldn’t breath. Panic set in and I started to have a full blown panic attack. I grabbed one of my roommates (the one I usually counted on during crisis mode) and started freaking out. What was going on? I felt like I was dying. Was I dying? Am I having a heart attack? I honestly didn’t know what was going on. Finally after few minutes of a super intense panic attack I started to feel a little better. My friends tried to distract me and after a couple of hours, I was able to get back to normal.
As the days went on after that, I started to think more and more about my panic attacks. Becoming fearful of it happening again. And sure enough, it did. My panic attacks started happening more frequently but soon they just started to feel like an overwhelming feeling of anxiety. My chest felt tight, I had trouble breathing. It started to get to the point where anytime I would be out to eat, I would start to feel a panic attack coming on, so I couldn’t eat. And if ya’ll know me, you know I love to eat. I couldn’t sleep at night, I started waking up every few hours feeling like something was wrong. I had never felt that kind of pain before. I was unable to sleep for about two weeks, I couldn’t eat – I ended up losing 10+ pounds in a couple of weeks, I wasn’t able to focus at work. Everything made me feel panicked. I would spend hours a day crying to myself, or my dad or boyfriend. There were nights where I would wake my boyfriend up in the middle of the night just hysterically crying because something was wrong, and I didn’t know why. My symptoms started to get so bad that my dad literally flew out to LA from NY to take care of me. (ps: thank you dad, you seriously are the best dad ever.) I honestly thought I was going to have to be hospitalized because I didn’t think I could go through the pain any longer. Not eating, not sleeping, constantly feeling like you’re going to die seriously takes a huge toll on you. I didn’t know what it was but something in my body just felt wrong.
I was seeing a therapist, a psychiatrist, my primary care doctor, a gastro, pretty much everyone I could get my hands on I saw. Something had to be wrong with me. What I was feeling was not normal. Every doctor came back with the same diagnosis…you have anxiety.
But what was causing my anxiety? It started when I had friends visiting, friends whom I love and were so excited to see. I was in the beginning stages of a new relationship with a great guy, I had a great job, I had friends I was hanging out with constantly. Everything seemed perfect. Everything except my anxiety. To be honest I’ve spent the past 10 months in therapy trying to figure out what caused this. And sure, there were definitely triggers, but there was also a chemical imbalance in my brain. Because of that I went on medication. I was prescribed a low dose of an SSRI and to be honest I was scared shitless to start taking it. I didn’t want to be “that crazy girl” or be seen as weak or incompetent. But to be honest what really helped was talking to my friends, my boyfriend and even my boss. I was surprised to find out that I wasn’t the only person that’s ever gone through this. Many people that I knew personally, that I never would have imagined them having gone through what I went through told me “yeah, I’ve been on meds before and it helped.” I can do a whole other post of what my experience on meds were like, just let me know in the comments below if that is something you guys would be interested in.
I started taking my meds, I went home to stay with my parents for about a week and I just continued trying to take it a day at a time. Slowly…really slowly things started to get better. Eventually I was able to start eating again, and sleeping again and things just started to feel a little bit more normal.
I still suffer from anxiety and it’s been a tough 9 months for me. I’ve had a lot of changes going on, I went through a breakup, I moved out of my apartment, I lost some friends. There are good days and there are bad days. I still have some of those terrible days where I feel so anxious it feels like I’m having a heart attack. But there are things I do to try to calm myself down. Nothing has been as bad as that first month dealing with anxiety has been. I’m still on the medication, I’m still in therapy and it’s a slow journey but I’m hopeful that one day I’ll look back at it and just realized how it’s helped me to grow.
I want to continue sharing my journey with you guys and have this be a resource for anyone that is going through anxiety or depression. Unfortunately it’s a wide spread issue that not many people like talking about. But I want to be there for you. This has been my personal journey dealing with anxiety. Not everyone’s experience with anxiety will look the same as mine. No matter what you are going through, whatever pain you are feeling; that pain is real. And I want to let you know that I understand that pain, however different it may look. I know this is a super deep topic and my blog has been very light and fun and I still want to show you guys those elements as well, but I also want to open it up with the truth. And the truth is, I have anxiety.
2. These drinks are causing you bloating.
4. How much you should tip hotel housekeeping.
6. Skincare tips from the pros.
7. Gotta try this chickpea cauliflower curry.
9. Mistakes and lessons from your twenties.
10. Queer Eye season 2 is coming and I am PUMPED!
Also, Nordstrom is having their half-yearly sale! Here are some of my favorites from the sale if you guys want to shop my picks below!
Okay, this is kind of sad to admit but after I graduated college I stopped reading books. I used to be such a book nerd growing up (my bed frame was a bookcase!). But ever since I could remember I haven’t been able to finish a book. I’d get major ADD and read about half of a book then just forget about it. That was until recently. I’ve finished two books in the past couple of months, which I know isn’t a lot but for me it is! Now I’m on a reading kick so I wanted to share with you guys what I’ve read and what I’m about to read!
Modern Romance by Aziz Ansari: This book came out a while ago but after watching Aziz’s comedy specials I had to give this a try. This book is pretty educational considering Aziz is a comedian. He goes to different places around the world and studies how people date, both in the past and present. If you’re currently trying to navigate this terrible dating world we live in, like me, then definitely give this book a read! It’s got some pretty interesting insight.
Bachelor Nation by Amy Kaufman: If you know me by now you know I’m obsessed with the Bachelor. Obsessed is in understatement. As soon as I heard this book was coming out I had to pre-order it. This goes behind the scenes of the Bachelor from even before it’s inception. It’s an easy read and highly entertaining!
Kintsugi Wellness by Candice Kumai: I heard about Candice through The Skinny Confidential podcast. Listening to her speak about this book immediately made me go out on Amazon and purchase it. I just started reading it the other day so I can’t say much about it yet but I can’t wait to continue reading it. It’s part a self-help, acceptance book and part a cook book. There’s a matcha chocolate chip cookie recipe in there I CAN’T WAIT to try!
The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle: This book is something my dad purchased for me while I was struggling hard with my anxiety (thanks Dad!). I have a really hard time on focusing on the present so hopefully this book will help!
What are you guys currently reading? Let me know in the comments below!
2. Ladies, it’s time to start tracking your wins.
3. According to science, some of your friends don’t actually like you.
4. Get rid of belly bloat, fast.
5. These airlines have the most leg room.
6. These houseplants will help clean your air.
7. Sandra Oh, keeping it real. BTW I’m obsessed with her new show Killing Eve, go watch it!
8. How to get over friendship insecurity.
9. These photos show how different LA and NY really are.
10. Hopefully this will put a smile on your face like it did mine.
Hi my name is Esther and I am a hoarder. Sadly, kind of true. One good thing about my latest move is that I got a chance to go through my closet and clean out bags and bags full of things. It’s spring cleaning time so I wanted to share with you guys some of my tips of how to edit down that closet.
Okay, first things first: Create three piles – Donate, Sell and Toss
These are the items you should pull out of your closet to place in these piles.
1. Anything you haven’t worn in a year – If you haven’t worn something in the past year, chances are you probably won’t really wear it again. Be honest with yourself. If it’s in good condition put it in the sell or donate pile, if it’s not toss it.
2. Items with tags still on them – Unless you just bought something within the past month that you haven’t worn yet, if you still have the tags on chances are you won’t be wearing that item. I found a couple items that still had tags on them for YEARS. I was always saving it for that “special” moment to wear the item, but let’s be real…that moment will never come.
3. Old bras and underwear – You know what I’m talking about. We all have those bras with the underwire coming out, or underwear with holes in them. Get rid of them.
4. Anything with holes in them – TOSS. That old pair of jeans with the button missing that you’ve been saying for years you’ll fix…you won’t. Give it up and just toss it.
5. Freebie items – Those shirts you got from that random event you went to, or that ugly old t-shirt your ex-boyfriend gave you on his last trip. Get rid of it. There’s really no “sentimental” value in holding onto these things. They’re just taking up space and you’ll never wear them.
Okay, now that you’ve pulled out those items from your closet here is what you do with those piles of clothes.
Donate: There are many places you can donate your gently used clothes to such as Good Will, Salvation Army or local churches. If you drive around your town you might also see those red donation bins in parking lots that make it super easy to just drop your donation bag off. Some charities will even come and pick up your donations straight from your house. If you itemize your tax deductions, be sure to record what you are donating!
Sell: This is one of my favorite things to do because it’s fun, and you get some extra cash out of it.
For designer clothes I suggest you sell to TheRealReal. It’s super easy, they will send you a prepaid shipping label. You send them your items and if they accept it, they will then sell your clothes for you. You get to keep 55% of the sale price and TheRealReal keeps 45%.
ThredUp is another way to sell clothes online. These items don’t have to be designer, but not all items will be accepted. You can choose to donate the unaccepted items which will then be recycled. Win win.
Poshmark is an app that allows you to sell your items right from the comfort of your house. This requires the most work because you have to take the pictures and ship the items out yourself, but you also get to choose the selling price which you don’t get to do with the other services. I love using Poshmark for items such as jewelry because it’s easy and convenient.
Toss. Self explanatory. Throw it out.
There you guys have it! Happy cleaning!
As some of you may know, I just recently moved into a new apartment. A new apartment, means lots of home decor shopping. I absolutely LOVE home decor shopping but there are so many different places to go to that it can be kind of overwhelming. I wanted to share with you guys some of my favorite shops and items so that you can shop them if you’re looking for some cute home decor!
Seriously my favorite place to shop. They honestly have THE CUTEST things. If I had an endless amount of cash, which sadly I don’t, I would spend it all at Anthro.
I don’t know how because Target isn’t the most expensive store, but I swear all my money goes there. Their home collection, especially the new Opalhouse one has such amazing pieces.
If you’re looking for boho chic items, go check out World Market. I’m obsessed with their kitchen items!
For a little higher end items, such as furniture or kitchen gear, I really love West Elm. They have such classic items with a modern twist.
Where are your favorite places to shop for home decor? Let me know in the comments below!